#1 - +(-138/3800/1482)- [X]

Chairs don't work without gravity - Dug

#3 - +(-92/3726/1513)- [X]

What is left is not right.

#36 - +(62/3418/1286)- [X]

Being single is kinda like losing an odd sock
You keep looking and looking and its depressing at first
But eventually you give up and realise that one day it'll turn up
Or you'll just end up stuck as an odd sock

#14 - +(-87/3349/1322)- [X]

I used to go out with an English teacher but they didn't approve of my improper use of the colon.

#20865 - +(-53/3401/1270)- [X]

Whenever I'm close friends or dating a lady who's on her period, I just treat them like the velociraptors from Jurassic Park. Assume they are more intelligent than you, lethal, cunning, and will tear out your throat if you don't give them whatever food they wish for.

#4 - +(50/3752/1473)- [X]

The Germans has lots of good ideas, but most of them involved genocide.

#5 - +(23/3725/1448)- [X]

Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Sausage Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Eggs Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam

#33 - +(-49/3713/1515)- [X]

<Meghaleya> salut :)
<dug> that's french isn't it?
<Delts> Oui
<dug> J'ai un petite chevaux dans ma pantalon.
<+Maximinus> you have a small horse in your pants?
<dug> YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAH!!
<dug> Wow, that's the only french phrase I ever learnt.
<Delts> Merde
<dug> I used to get chevaux confused with rabbit though, which is kinda embarrasing.
<Delts> lapin
<dug> Maybe its not rabbit... hair?
<dug> Hair! Yeah, hair.
<dug> as in, J'ai un petite cheveux dans ma pantalon.
<+Maximinus> heh
<+Maximinus> you have a single, small pube?
<dug> Yep! and thats why I don't like the french language.

#34 - +(-1/3761/1460)- [X]

<Meghaleya> cheval is masculin
<Meghaleya> "J'ai un cheval dans mon pantalon"
<dug> LOL! Thakns Meghaleya. Could've been embarrasing having a female horse in my trousers. Although strangely arousing.
<Meghaleya> :D u seem to have several horses in ur pants = chevaux

#32 - +(24/3402/1357)- [X]

'; DROP TABLE quotes; -- <script>alert("hmm... javascript injection!");</script>

#20 - +(-71/3481/1303)- [X]

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."
- Dereke Bruce

#2 - +(-60/3394/1357)- [X]

Dug is playing with his uselessbollocks.com.

#18 - +(-86/3676/1449)- [X]

buffer buffer buufer chicken!

#13 - +(-130/3882/1607)- [X]

WOO!

#35 - +(93/3789/1404)- [X]

I like my women like I like my coffee;

dragged across india in a burlap sack

or alternatively, kept in a metal box in the kitchen and occasionally used only for spooning and swallowing.